Imagine the emotions of a child who has been abused:
Take a minute and imagine what it would feel like if you were a young child being sexually violated by an older more powerful individual. Imagine you are a young child and one of your parents, step-parent, sibling, older cousin, aunt, uncle, teacher, babysitter, Sunday school teacher, family friend, or sports coach touches your private parts, asks you to touch theirs, or exposes themselves – Imagine how YOU would feel if you were a child!
YOU MAY FEEL CONFUSED: “Why is he/she doing this? I don’t understand, this grown up should be protecting me, caring for me, loving me! Is there something bad in me that is making them do this?” Why are people asking me what’s wrong with me instead of what happened to me?
YOU MAY FEEL SCARED: “They are going to hurt me, I want this to stop. I don’t want to do this, it doesn’t feel right. What if someone finds out? You should be loving me, not hurting me!”
YOU MAY FEEL GUILTY: “Why me? What did I do to deserve this? Why are they saying its my fault?”
YOU MAY FEEL SHAMEFUL: “This doesn’t feel right, I feel embarrassed and ashamed, sometimes it feels good and I know its wrong. Why didn’t I tell?”
YOU MAY FEEL SAD: “This wont stop I feel hopeless, I told and they don’t believe me or……………..I TOLD AND THIS PERSON IS STILL IN OUR LIFE HURTING ME!”
YOU MAY FEEL ANGRY: “How dare you do this, you’re a fake, liar, imposter, I hate you, I hate my life, I don’t care about anything or anyone. Why doesn’t anyone see what is happening to me? You didn’t protect me, I Give Up! We’re related and you should not be doing this to me!” “Why are you asking me what’s wrong with me instead of what happened to me?” People are going to have to suffer the way I did!!! No one protected me!”
YOU WILL FEEL BETRAYED: The failure of others to protect us will cause feelings of betrayal. The person who was supposed to keep us safe didn’t. We may be triggered throughout our adulthood whenever we don’t feel safe!
If we can’t rely on grown-ups to do the right thing …..who can we rely on?